If you are Screwed Call Jude


Its no secret that personal injury attorneys are an important part of our legal system. Employers do not always provide ideal working conditions for their employees. Landlords frequently do not maintain their rental properties in a manner that makes the rental units as safe and secure as they should be. Doctors and Hospitals are sometimes negligent in caring for their patients AND the list goes on.

The personal injury lawyer I saw on TV tonight produced a commercial that must  insult the intelligence of anybody who viewed it. Bert Parnall could do no better than insult the cute British accented GEICO lizard and make fun of the “You are in Good Hands” Insurance Slogan.

His apparent hook to attract clients was the puerile, rhyming “If you are hurt call Bert“. What is really sad is that I have seen this commercial for over half a year now and one can only surmise that his TV solicitation must be more than a marginally effective advertisement.

Bert does not bother with listing the type of common injuries like motorcycle accidents, workplace mishaps, or botched surgeries. He keeps it simple by just declaring if you get hurt, then contact his law office assuring traumatized viewers We’re Here to Help.

Bert and his legal team may really want to help you, but it is likely you will get charged around 30% of whatever settlement he gets for damages.  That means if he wins $200,000 in court for your injuries, then Bert won’t be Hurting either cuz he gets $60,000. I mean look at the way his fists are clenched. He’s raring to go! How could you go wrong retaining an attorney who has  10 second looping crash scene video  in the background of his free consultation form?

Not saying that lawyers don’t deserve to be well compensated for vigorously defending their clients, but there is a financial line they should not cross and expect to be trusted.

Albuquerque PI lawyer with rhyming marketing slogan
Albuquerque PI lawyer with rhyming marketing slogan

4 comments on “If you are Screwed Call JudeAdd yours →

  1. Just noticed another one of those sleaze ball PI lawyer commercials along the lines of If you are hurt call Bert. This time it was If you are in a crash do not accept quick cash. It was a TV ad by the Whitener law firms on what to do if you are injured by a texter. Their attorneys do not want you to settle quickly so that they can amp up the damages and get their 50% cut out of a larger settlement.

    I used to tutor the lawyer who was doing the commercial. He was cheating his way through Math classes and probably his law classes too. Just the kind of guy you want pay your hard earned money to.

    1. Christopher Cecil, nurse practitioner/Chiropractor, also employs the insulting rhyming marketing slogan “in a wreck, call Albuquerque neck” . He plays off the texting crisis we have to promote neck and back pain center.

  2. Bert Parnall saved our ass. My wife was injured on the job at one of the largest employers in Albuquerque. At first they were gonna settle, but then they started backing off acting like she was at fault for not reading the dated store operations and employee manual. Her joints were damaged on her right side due to the injury affecting her mobility to where she could not perform the duties of her job description. Parnall charged us nothing up front. We won the case and paid him a modest fee no where near the 30% your article indicates. We both were able to retire on the winnings. We were hurt and called Bert and it was effective! The man is a fair fighter and you would want him on your side in a bar fight.

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