Wiping just does NOT get it done

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Americans lag way behind the rest of the world with respect to anal hygiene. I remember walking away from the Student Union Center at Texas Tech University and wondering why I had such an intense itching sensation around my ass crack. No, I was not a member of a gay fraternity or light in the loafers.

This slow Red Raider finally realized the itch was consequent to unwiped fecal matter(Some uncivilized A&M Aggies, that is redundant,smeared a fake poop substitute exactly on the A-hole of the Will Rogers horse statue on Tech campus , one of their more polite gestures over the years). That was the day I realized bidets(devices that spray a cleansing stream of water over your asshole after you poop) were superior to manually wiping your butt! Think about it…..wiping with toilet paper will likely leave streaks of excrement in an anal region that is corrugated increasing the potential for fermenting night soil being trapped in the corrugated folds. No MD is required here to indicate this could lead to extreme itching and/or infection. Would you want to be sitting in the most important job interview of your life not able to suppress an agonizing inadequate wiping itch?!! This would have never happened to Billy Joe Tolliver, former quarterback of football team at Tech, since he made so much money playing for the Falcons that he likely does not have to apply for jobs.

The bidet equipped commode you see in the picture was a standard fixture in the  Narita(Toyko) international airport. It was electronically controlled with a varying intensity stream of water aimed directly at  your poop smeared bunghole  until every last bit of crap was gone and in the toilet where it belongs and not on the underwear that your wife has to clean for a few years until she files for divorce.

Tangentially, another Texas Tech legend Wes Welker made it known to the public that Tom Brady has a bidet installed in his Massachusetts home. Both those guys are cut ups and apparently Welker thinks bidets are sort of gay.

Automatic Bidet in Narita International Airport
Automatic Bidet in Narita International Airport
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