Assault or Consensual Sex?


A very topical interest these days is sexual abuse at college fraternity houses where many young female students choose to spend their Friday and Saturday nights. Allegations of gang rape and sodomy appear in our nation’s newspapers monthly it seems. 

I recall seeing a young man on TV who was charged with sodomizing a girl in her sleep after he drugged her. That is certainly wrong as she had no opportunity to consent to rough or kinky sex. The young man should be vigorously prosecuted to the full extent of the law!

However the following snippet from an article written by RICHARD PÉREZ-PEÑA about an alleged rape at the University of Massachusetts seems to ignore the importance of whether the sex was consensual or not. The woman was not forced to be in frat house or  dorm room . In fact, she knocked on the door and requested permission to enter. I don’t think she went there to play chess or study for an exam. Her attire suggested that she was horny and hot to trot and perhaps even ovulating.

Also carefully read the alleged victim’s own words:

I was raped by an acquaintance in Crossett Dormitory on Amherst College campus.
I did not report the rape after it occurred(Could that be because it was initially consensual sex between you and your acquaintance? why would your acquaintance rape you in dorm room where he would most certainly be caught unless he felt you wanted the sex as much as him?). Almost immediately after the rape I flew off to California, got lost in the beauty of the redwoods, the phenomenal art, and meeting the most unique people I’d ever beheld.
I blocked the rape from my mind and tried to convince myself that it hadn’t happened(not much convincing necessary here; you had the time and money to hop on  plane and enjoy a leisurely vacation after your “traumatic rape”); that it couldn’t have happened. But there was no denying the facts(the “facts” as your have reported them).

So any allegations of misconduct and non-consensual forced sex are ONLY non-provable allegations. If the young woman had been forced into a van at gun point and then sexually assaulted, then criminal charges and prosecution would be a no brainer.


The allegations of misconduct and the response to Ms. Epifano’s essay have raised pointed questions on this campus and elsewhere: Are sex crimes(you mean consensual rough sex at a frat house) more surprising at a school thought of as elite and supportive of women’s rights, or less surprising at the kind of place often labeled as having a culture of entitlement? Or are they just part of the stew of negligent attitudes(let us not forget the “negligent” attitude of the female dressed in skin tight clothes who was there for a sexual release of tension…..nothing wrong with her being there if that is what she is looking for, but to scream rape after the point of no return was reached is wrong), criminal conduct and tension between the sexes that can be found almost anywhere?

Finally, did anybody read the missive written by Chelcie Laggis to Wendy Kaminer? Laggis also assumes that Epifano’s account of the events she described as a rape is 100% true and criticizes Kaminer for an unfair,biased portrayal of the facts surrounding the alleged rape. 

Laggis, who otherwise appears to be an intelligent person, does not consider that Epifano did not immediately report the rape because it was likely consensual rough sex that she decided she did not want which is distinctly different from being forced to have sex against your own will. I think many readers would love to know the opinion of a female psychologist like the exceptionally intelligent psychologist Carol Gittens.



1 comment on “Assault or Consensual Sex?Add yours →

  1. The mistrial(hung jury) of Bill Cosby case sends questionable signal to the world about what is meant by consensual sex after he admitted to decades of philandering and to giving quaaludes to women to get them horny and hot to trot.

    Andrea Constand was around 31, very near her sexual peak at Cosby’s residence of her free will, has to be disappointed as the “assault group’s proxy” for this tedious overpublicized litigation.

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